This week’s Top 5 Tuesday is brought to you by the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. Many people take this time of year to reflect upon what they are thankful for… good friends, family’s alright, good blog reading- whatever! As this year has been a little unfair to me, I find it hard to be thankful for things other than the basics: food, water, shelter, family, friends. Granted, I should stop being so selfish and end this self-pitty-party, but that’s no fun. As my friend Courtney said during our emergency drill aboard our cruise ship vacation this year, “I’m pretty sure if the ship were to sink, Amy would probably throw her hands up in the air and give up.” Her statement was funny, yet so true. If one more disaster happens to me this year, I can pretty much guarantee that I’m going to admit myself to a rehabilitation facility. Some of you know the most disasterous occassion I am refering to, some of you do not. I’ll do my best to keep it in a nut-shell so I can get on to the funniness… So, in early September one of my crazy neighbors set my condominium building on fire- twice- on purpose. First night was small- set a couch, trash, and bike tires on fire in the lobby next to my hallway. It just damaged the lobby. Second night- he got the job done. He destroyed a third of the building. Luckily no one got hurt and my unit was still entact. The really horrible part was that he set a lot of the fires in places that would block people’s exits out of the building. Also, the fire alarms didn’t work. So two nights in a row I was woken up by my neighbors either pounding on my door or screaming in fear outside my window. Two nights in a row- I had to throw Wilford into his pet carrier and run out of the building in my pjs. So this week, I give you:
My Top 5 Survival Tips for Life and the Holidays
1. Select your sleepwear wisely. I don’t care if you are single or not, you should always coordinate the outfit. It’ll make yourself feel better and you won’t have to worry about lookin crazy on the news. Also, it’s important to have some support for the ladies for when you are meeting your neighbors for the first time. Especially the cute ones. I also suggest having a sweatshirt, shoes and maybe some pants ready to be put on in a hurry. Basically, become a fireman. They get dressed in a hurry- and they have helmets.
2. Know where everything is. I can’t tell you how many circles I walked in my apt before I bolted. You know those personality tests that ask you what is the one thing you would grab in an emergency? The first thing I grabbed was my Cat, Wilford. He was all- “what’s meowin on, mom? Why are you all meowed-out?” I wonder what that says about me…
3. Be aware of your surroundings. You won’t be the only one feeling meowed-up. Before you know it- the news crew will show up and film you without you knowing- and then replay you over, and over, and over again on the news. And then again one month later. If you can’t be aware of your surroundings- make sure there is a comb and makeup compact in your purse at all times.
4. Remain calm and stay put. As soon as I realized the second fire was the real-deal and there was a chance I was about to loose everything, I did what everyone else was doing. I ran back inside! People were all starting to realize they could be homeless in a few minutes, so we all sized up our options and made a run for it. I went back in and grabed cat food, clothes, insurance papers, and my computer. If I was thinking straight, I probably would have also grabed the Tequila out of the freezer.
5. Drink. Breathe. Eat Chocolate. And repeat.
